I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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