I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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