evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
