Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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