i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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