How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
