No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
