Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
