I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
