i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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