Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
