So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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