this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
