I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The best revenge is premature balding
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
