What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
