I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize