just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
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I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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