You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
