day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just found puke in my bra..
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
