im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
