That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
