Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
