Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize