They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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