the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
