Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
