I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
