I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just high enough for therapy.
Enjoy the penises
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
