Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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