im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
