You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I love you. Go after that dick
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
