i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
