I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.