I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
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Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
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I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????