Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.