Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
