I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
