pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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