I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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