How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
