grandma shit on top of the toilet
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize