plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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