Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
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