What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
thus making me awesome and them whores
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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