the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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