Sponge bath it is.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
