Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
