I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
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