Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize