is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
