no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
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I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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