I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize