i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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