handjob tips. give me some.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
