So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
