is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
