Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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