You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
