You're completely useless in the revolution.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high