Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock

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  (360): I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock http://tfl.nu/cdtd
  Replies (29) Good night (941) Bad night (1422)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.

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  (636): I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher. http://tfl.nu/pfmp
  Replies (132) Good night (8698) Bad night (982)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy

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  (404): to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy http://tfl.nu/vv9t
  Replies (23) Good night (7396) Bad night (1055)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something

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  (570): i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something http://tfl.nu/ax1a
  Replies (28) Good night (7814) Bad night (1940)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl

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  (248): My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl http://tfl.nu/sa4n
  Replies (5) Good night (1793) Bad night (1097)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Last night was just one giant freudian slip.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You made out with EVERYBODY.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Can I just bleach my life?

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  (702): Last night was just one giant freudian slip. (503): You made out with EVERYBODY. (702): Can I just bleach my life? http://tfl.nu/dy05
  Replies (3) Good night (1770) Bad night (696)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.

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  (702): There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that. http://tfl.nu/7qcf
  Replies (3) Good night (1357) Bad night (579)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.

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  (423): There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears. http://tfl.nu/uyth
  Replies (3) Good night (1267) Bad night (642)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.

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  (203): also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them. http://tfl.nu/9avq
  Replies (4) Good night (1205) Bad night (633)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow

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  (615): i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow http://tfl.nu/kcra
  Replies (4) Good night (445) Bad night (1311)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.

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  (410): I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man. http://tfl.nu/n99f
  Replies (2) Good night (431) Bad night (669)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED

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  (701): Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED http://tfl.nu/76ld
  Replies (5) Good night (620) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.

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  (734): You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them. http://tfl.nu/p5zk
  Replies (1) Good night (496) Bad night (694)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.

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  (816): He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call. http://tfl.nu/jkpw
  Replies (3) Good night (312) Bad night (729)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.

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  (224): We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy. http://tfl.nu/rots
  Replies (0) Good night (252) Bad night (96)

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