My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
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I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
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I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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