I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment