I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
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I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
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Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads