So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
I'm going to Hell for sure
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I cut my penus on the lid.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.