my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
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I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
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But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?