We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize