Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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