Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
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He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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