you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
