i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
