Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
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Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
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I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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