her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize
