Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
