I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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