I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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